With criminals increasing, I’m in favor of using the death penalty as a form of criminal punishment. I consider that we should sentence the criminals to death instead of putting them in jails forever because some of the convicts who are not afraid of being sent into prison would commit high crimes if the death penalty is abolished. Although death penalty is a risky measure, it’s of great importance. Without its existence, the crime rate will rapidly rise, and then the bad guy would not obey the law any more. Due to the reasons above, the dwellers living in the city must lead a terror-stricken life. They are necessarily anxious about their “tomorrow’’ life. Therefore, abolishing the death penalty cannot be practiced. After all, it’s the last line of defense for people to cracking down on villains. In word, I cannot agree with the death penalty anymore.
I consider that we should sentence the evil man to death instead of putting them in jail forever.
回覆刪除這裡的evil man太主觀了~
因為不是所有的壞人都會被關~
所以寫criminal比較適當=)
Because some f
這邊是of吧XD
the convicts who are not afraid of being sent in(to) prison (is the)certain of committing (that cause the) high crime if there is (mo寫錯了) more death penalty. 好像比較恰當~
there “tomorrow’’ life
是THEIR~
3th Because some f the convicts // of
回覆刪除committing a high crime // high crime
if there is mo more death penalty // if the death penalty is abolished
倒數2 abolishing the death penalty cannot be put into practice
// abolishing the death penalty cannot be practiced
很喜歡妳適時的使用一些片語呢 像是crack down on等等 幾乎每篇都是呢
As criminals increasing more and more
回覆刪除>> With criminals increasing, s+v~
evil man >> evil men
in jail >> in jails
certain of committing a high crime
這裡的certain of 用的怪怪的
而且不懂看這句的意思耶@@
很多粗心的小錯誤唷~加油
With criminals increasing, I’m in favor of using the death penalty as a form of criminal punishment.
回覆刪除>>>一開頭就說明自己的立場很棒
I consider that we should sentence the criminals to death instead of putting them in jails forever because some of the convicts who are not afraid of being sent into prison would commit high crimes if the death penalty is abolished.
>>>這句好長XDXD
文章很順暢喔:>
I consider that we should sentence the criminals to death instead of putting them in jails forever because some of the convicts who are not afraid of being sent into prison would commit high crimes if the death penalty is abolished. 這句好長喔~ because前面應該可以做個斷句
回覆刪除這篇還不錯 你的論點寫的還蠻清楚的~
倒數四：As the reasons above 用as怪怪的＠＠?
回覆刪除They are necessarily(是"肯定"的意思嗎? 那用certainly之類的有沒有比較好?) anxious..
In word, I cannot agree with the death penalty anymore.會讓人有想說：對，我+1，我同意感覺唷!!
我覺得這篇你寫的不錯，但可以更好~
I consider that we should sentence the criminals to death instead of putting them in jails forever because some of the convicts who are not afraid of being sent into prison would commit high crimes if the death penalty is abolished.這具有點長呢~
回覆刪除-->I consider that we should sentence the criminals to death instead of putting them in jails forever because some of the convicts who are not afraid of being sent into prison. It would commit high crimes if the death penalty was abolished.原本的is abolished要改成was喔~因為前面是假設~句子太長會讓人看的很辛苦喔~
Without its existence, the crime rate will rapidly rise, and then the bad guy would not obey the law any more.這個時態要一致喔～
前面是will但是後面就變would了~
還有直接bad guy就ok了可以不用+the因為沒有指定
abolishing the death penalty cannot be practiced.這句有點主觀喔 因為不確定死刑廢除了沒～
然後我覺得你這句After all, it’s the last line of defense for people to cracking down on villains. 用很棒喔^^
學起來:d
As the reasons above,
回覆刪除可以改成due to the reasons above,
They are necessarily anxious about their “tomorrow’’ life.
看這句的時候好像可以感覺到人們驚慌害怕的情緒~
這篇寫得很好唷~