2011年6月9日 星期四

discussing effects-1

   
    Acton is a small town in the Midwest, and it’s a safe, quiet and clean place to live.  One day, a large factory is decided to be built here. Of course, it may make great influence on this small town. Everyone who lives here is both worried and excited. Fortunately, most of the dwellers hold positive attitude toward it.
    The most primary effect is that the industry of this small town would full of vitality, especially the tourism industry. As a result of that, the residents can improve their living quality instead of living in a poor surrounding. It’s of great importance that the inhabitants are able to boarden their horizon. Having seen the new stuff brought in from foreign countries, they can know what things are catching on in other regions.  
    Needless to say, the factory provides a variety of job opportunities. Consequently, there is no need for the young to move out to look for a job. The unemployment rate may decrease and eventually, robberies would no more happen because people living here can support their family by themselves. That is to say, others property won’t attract them any more.
    To sum up, building a factory in Acton is a good and helpful way for the entire residents. We should view it as a positive effect instead of refusing to accept it.

8 則留言:

  1. 3nd Everyone live here // lives //
    4-5th especially the sightseeing spot industry. // = tourism?? //
    5th the resident can improve their life quality instead of living in a poor surrounding. //這句表面沒問題,但是感覺怪怪的
    6-7th Having seen the new stuff brought in from the foreigners, // from the foreigners錯了喔! -> Having seen the new/novel stuff brought in from foreign countries.
    catch on用得真好bbb!!!
    倒數4 robberies would no more exist // robberies would not happen //
    大致上行喽! 搶劫那裏尤其是without stealing others’ possessions感覺可以再換句話說ex: 搶劫案將不會再發生,因為………...

    p.s. 我有些行數好像打錯了,不好意思喔:>

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  2. 開頭不錯欸:)

    The most primary reason(effect比較好吧,畢竟主題是在discussing effects唷~)

    挖屋!!!看完之後驚嘆一下xD 寫的很有條理也好棒欸:">
    (( 讚ˇ )) :D

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  3. to be built in here.-->to be built here.

    Everyone live here is half with worries and excitement.
    -->Everyone living here is both worried and excited.

    most of the dwellers take positive attitude on it.
    -->most of the dwellers have positive attitude toward it.

    the resident -->the residents

    不錯唷~有用到一些片語

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  4. 第二行 built in 是嵌入的意思喔 寫built就好了
    第三行Everyone live here is half with worries and excitement. 是everyone who lives... 或everyone living....

    這篇文章不錯耶~~還分了四段 而且是一個觀點一段 Good!!

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  5. Everyone live here is half with worries and excitement.
    這句可改成Everyone live here is half with worries and half with excitement.

    The most primary reason is that the industry of this small town would full of vitality, especially the sightseeing spot industry.
    這邊有點奇怪~
    如果發展了工業~
    觀光業就不會好喔~
    應該改成科技業等...

    結尾和分段不錯=)

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  6. to be built in here不用借系詞喔
    這篇寫得很棒喔
    分明的觀點~
    不過我發現阿~你好像很喜歡分四行xd

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  7. One day, a large factory is decided to be built in here.
    >>here前面不用任何介係詞:)

    Everyone live here>> Everyone lives here

    the dwellers take positive attitude on it.
    >> the dwellers hold positive attitude toward it.

    sightseeing spot industry 這句是什麼意思xd
    sightseeing spot >> 旅遊勝地
    tourism industry 是你想表達的嘛??

    the resident can improve their life quality
    >> the residents can improve their living quality

    expand their horizon expand指的通常都是店家.連鎖店這類的擴充唷! 建議用broaden

    they can know what are catching on in other regions
    這句話的語意有問題喔
    是: '他們可以知道什麼在其他地區流行起來" 嗎?
    你的what後面要不要再加個things之類的

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  8. 用到片語很棒:>

    HERE前面不用介係詞要注意:>

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