My friend and I are looking for an apartment to share near campus. And while I am searching the net, I see two descriptions of apartments on the Internet. I don’t know which one is the best selection, so I need to compare the two apartments-Fairfax Apartments and CAMPUS APTS to find out the most suitable house for my friend and I to live in. First, it is of great significance for both of us to have our own room-we all need to have private space, and Fairfax Apartments can meet our requirement. The critical reason is that Fairfax Apartments has two large bedrooms, whereas, CAMPUS APTS could only have one available.
Second, with the increase of expense during pursuing our studies, we don’t have much more money to spend on. Consequently, Fairfax Apartments, which is furnished, may save our pockets, while CAMPUS APTS has no furnish. Therefore, it would be very inconvenient for us to live in and we must have to spend much money to buy the furnisher. Third, I am not into keeping a pet. Fairfax Apartments don’t allow pets to stay in. In contrast, CAMPUS APTS allow pets to stay in. As a result, I consider the former one better than the latter. For these above reasons, we both make up our mind and decide to choose Fairfax Apartments to rent. Although the rent of Fairfax Apartments is more expensive than CAMPUS APTS, we are certain that we can handle it. I am of great confidence to tell you that my friend and I may have a comfortable college life in Fairfax Apartments.
And while I am searching the net, I see two descriptions of apartments on the Internet.
回覆刪除句首的and可用教過的副詞代替~
或者省略=)
CAMPUS APTS could only have one available.
這句不用could吧~
Second,前方空太多格了XD
I consider the former one (is) better than the latter.
這裡是不是要加is阿~
各句都補充的很詳細~
但有些長句子可以試著簡化一點!
文章就會更加清楚明白喔!!!
net要大寫喔
回覆刪除然後就沒有了~
And while I am searching the net, I see two descriptions of apartments on the Internet.
回覆刪除>>>>這句用過去式比較好吧
其餘都不錯喔 :>>>
the net>> the Net
回覆刪除然後內容打好多喔
真用心!!
加油唷:-*
這篇寫得不錯阿
回覆刪除只是用過去式會比較適合喔~
對於做出的決定也有明確的原因
將整篇文章的長度拉長了 佩服...