Among various kinds of sports, I like jogging and riding bike in particular. As far as I am concerned, jogging is a good way for people who want to go on a diet. Similarly, you can ride a bike if you tend to lose your weight. With the growth of health-conscious, people are into watching their cholesterol or fat. And there is no doubt that human beings are able to go jogging or ride a bike in any climates, whether it is a sunny day or a rainy one. Therefore, both jogging and riding a bike soon catch on in the whole world. In addition, we should not neglect that the two above sports are likely to make humanity grow muscle. For example, while jogging or riding a bike, people ought to use their lower legs and would have muscle if they exercise regularly. As a result, we can come to the conclusion that the two above spots can not only strengthen your body but bolster your health. Let's get start right now, don't we?
for people who want(s) to go on a diet
回覆刪除少了s~
people are into watching their cholesterol or fat.
這裡是不是watching into啊!
human beings are able to go jogging or rid(ing) a bike in any climates
記得ing=)
比較的部分有不同的嘗試~
很不錯!!!
但列點的部分可以多加標明~
firstly/besides/moreover...
會讓讀者更加清楚喔~
muscle可以數喔
回覆刪除the two above spots -->應該改為the two sports above~
最後的結論句有生動的感覺喔^^
health-conscious-->這個看起來怪怪的,如果改healthy consciousness呢
回覆刪除in any climates,
-->in spite of any climates
In addition, we should not neglect that the two above sports are likely to make humanity grow muscle.
-->neglect what the two above sports are likely to make humanity grow muscle.
lower legs小腿應該不是這樣寫的吧
Let's get start right now, don't we?
-->Let's get start right now, shall we?
我覺得整偏還不錯,很多漂亮的句子和應用
tend to 可以換成 eager to會更適合喔
回覆刪除don't we >> will you (此作好嗎,有邀請的意思)
其他都很通順有善用所學喔
寫的很通順
回覆刪除結局與眾不同
很棒 !!!
時態記得別寫錯喔:)))))
jogging is a good way for people who want to go on a diet --> 節食怪怪的吧
回覆刪除grow muscle 加s
lower legs --> calves可能比較好
倒數第二行 spots-->sports
其餘都不錯喔,結尾很活潑呢:))
倒數第2行 spots 是sports喔
回覆刪除其他的句子還滿流暢的
看完文章後會有種想出去運動的感覺~~