This winter vacation, I watched a fantastic movie called “Confession”. It said that a teacher’s daughter was murdered by two of her students. In the story, the teacher told them that she would do everything to avenge her daughter’s comrades. One of the killers eventually took his own life because he couldn’t bear the pressure that he murdered a little kid with his own hands. And the other one was extremely lost his nerve as a result of his mother’s death. The two above consequences were just their punishments, and they deserved it. After I finished this film, I was under the impression that it was completely an amazing story that my feeling was thrilled with grief. To me, this was not just a simple movie; it was a topic for discussion that talked over the relationship between the teacher and the student, and the teenager’s education problems. I consider that all of us in this world should face up to teenager’s character development. All we can do now is to advance the society’s quality instead of thinking of some illegal minds which would hurt other people.
沒退兩格唷!
回覆刪除The two above consequences
The two consequences above 好像比較順
the relationship between the teacher and the student
student應該為複數(students)
the teenager’s education problems
teenager’s 應該為teenagers'
educational 用名詞不知道行不行
consider 要用過去式嗎
teenagers'
identity development
development of personality
personality development
不知道有沒有character development 這種說法
All we can do now is to advance the society’s quality instead of thinking of some illegal minds which would hurt other people.
最後一句我不太懂欸@@
第三行avenge her daughter’s comrades是報復她的同學吧!?我不確定這樣可不可以 改成she avenged herself on her daughter's comrades或是she avenged her daughter's death on/upon the comrades
回覆刪除向...報仇/進行報復
= avenge oneself on/upon
= be avenged on/upon
為某人向...報仇
= avenge sb. on/upon
After I finished this film少了watching
回覆刪除which would hurt other people.would-->will
One of the killers eventually took his own life because he couldn’t bear the pressure that he(had 應該是過去完成式)murdered a little kid with his own hands.
回覆刪除不確定~ >_<
And the other one was extremely lost his nerve as a result of his mother’s death.
回覆刪除這句有was和lost兩個動詞唷~
After I finished this film, I was under the impression that it was completely an amazing story that my feeling was thrilled with grief.
這裡的兩個that不是關代也不是連接詞
可能要整句修改一下
After I finished this film, I was under the impression that it was completely an amazing story that my feeling was thrilled with grief.可以加改成After finishing watching this film, I was under the impression that it was completely an amazing story. And my feeling was thrilled with grief.
回覆刪除To me, this was not just a simple movie; it was a topic for discussion that talked over the relationship between the teacher and the student, and the teenager’s education problems.可以改成 To me, this was not just a simple movie;on the contrary, it was a topic for discussion which talked about the relationship between the teacher and the student,inculding the teenager’s education problems.
第一行 第二句
回覆刪除你可以先打說 In this movie, it is said that...
不然妳直接這樣打 好像是在陳述事實
節尾的地方打的不錯
有宣導的感覺xd
it was a topic for discussion that talked over the relationship between the teacher and the student, and the teenager’s education problems.
回覆刪除是不是改成between the teacher , the students,and the teenager's........
因為一直有and的話會不太順!