Last weekend, I made a visit to Kaohsiung , where one of my old friends’ hometown. We met at the Kaohsiung Station, exchanging greeting and making small talk. After that, we both went to a celebrated restaurant nearby a canal and dined on Korean dishes. We had a pleasant lunch there and shared what we had undergone over these years. On account of the torrid sun, we bounded for the most well-known shopping center called Hanshin Arena to stay away from it. Having seen all manner of high-class boutiques and trendy restaurants and so forth, we were too excited to slow down our paces watching them. And then we ate Ichigo milk ice cream in the Baskin-Robbins 31 Ice Cream. The flavor was so amazing that it was beyond description.
Being extremely frustrated, we made up our mind to find a place to relax ourselves. Therefore, we left for the movies for the comfortable sofa. The sofa was so comfortable that both of us nearly fell asleep. After the movie coming into a conclusion, the night screen had already hung down so we took the MRT back to the railway station. We both wanted to get along for much more time but we had no choice but to say good-bye because of the coming dawn. To me, that day was not only a common day but a special day which I had really such a wonderful time with my friend. I would never forget the fantastic things that happened between us, and this memory would always be a part of my life.
前面要空兩格喔~
回覆刪除Being extremely frustrated, we made up our mind to find a place to relax ourselves.
→we made up our minds
我不確定要不要加s~
We both wanted to get along for much more time but we had no choice but to say good-bye because of the coming dawn.
→We wanted to get along with each other for much more time but we had no choice to say more to other and must to said good-bye because of the sun coming dawn.
我是覺得有兩個but感覺很咬舌根~
可以參考看看~
要退兩格唷!
回覆刪除車站名前不用家冠詞唷:at Kaohsiung Station!
你寫的句子都很艱深又很長,算是優點吧!
運用到很多東西讓文章感覺很豐富很棒!
第一行where one of my old friends’ hometown
回覆刪除where 後面少加 is
第二行We met at the Kaohsiung Station
Kaohsiung Station 的前面不加冠詞
整篇文章對於那天的敘述還蠻詳盡的XD
where one of my old friends’ hometown. where 後面是不是少加了is??
回覆刪除and this memory would always be a part of my life onec and for all.
a small talk-->要加a吧
回覆刪除然後 we both went to a celebrated restaurant nearby a canal
我覺得nearby後面不能加東西喔
所以要把a canal刪掉
還有第6行we bounded for the most well-known shopping center called Hanshin Arena to stay away from it
bound for(前往)跟最後的stay away from(離開)矛盾了喔
然後這個so forth--->?????
and加這句好奇怪的樣子~
然後第3段Being extremely frustrated意思就變成變的非常舉喪??
應改為筋疲力盡Being extremely exhausted
After the movie coming into a conclusion
這裡是came
除非是接在after後才加ving
that day was not only a common day but a special day which I had really such a wonderful time with my friend.這句語意矛盾了~
中文譯為那天不只是普通的日子而且是特別的日子...
Therefore, we left for the movies for the comfortable sofa
回覆刪除Therefore, we left for the movie theater for the comfortable sofa.
left for應該是加地方
.To me, that day was not only a common day but a special day which I had really such a wonderful time with my friend.
(day出現太多次)
改成To me, that day was not common but special when I really had such a wonderful time with my friend.
第一行"where one of my old friends’ hometown."
回覆刪除是where is
還有 你打說one of 是指一個朋友但你後面friend卻加上s了
看不懂第二行為什麼要用分詞構句@@...
第三行的both有點多餘喔 因為你們本來就是要一起去吃飯了
canel是不是拼錯了啊..你要打運河嗎?!
dined on很奇怪 第一我不知道可不可以用on 第二 had/ate比較普遍
(打鐘了...未完待續!)